""You'd think if the Berk's going to get tied up with a stripper, he'd do it on the telly - not on the big screen where everyone can see it - Dirty little devil.""
Albert Steptoe and his son Harold are rag-and-bone men, complete with horse and cart to tour the neighbourhood. They also live together at the junk yard. Harold, who likes the bright lights in the West End of London, meets a stripper, marries her and takes her home. Albert is furious and tries every trick he knows to drive the new bride from his household.

Albert Steptoe
Harold Steptoe
Zita Steptoe
Albert, the Vicar
Chauffeur
Barman
Mrs. Smith
Mr. Smith
Pianist
Arthur
Mrs Hobbs
Compere